March 22nd 2012 0 comments add
March 22, 2012 at 7:07 am permalink

Just one night. Just give me one night without all these damn thoughts in my head! PLEASE. I know I lied to you but I just can't tell you how I feel. You never understood me anyway though, so what would've been the difference if I actually said something now? I wonder if you'll ever get out of my head.. if your not going to get out of my head, at least get out of my heart - because you're going to make me, not me.

It's been 3 years and 6 months..fuck. 

March 19th 2012 0 comments add
March 19, 2012 at 10:20 am permalink

I'm still beating myself up over not going. I can lay here, and just picture what might have been..I just don't know why.

My airplane ticket credit expires soon - in a few months. I have 2 places in mind. I'm leaning more towards where my heart wants to go, but my head says it's such a big no-no. But what's the matter? What people say doesn't matter right?  

February 23rd 2012 0 comments add
February 24, 2012 at 9:55 am permalink

...get out of my head! Memories are haunting me.. 

February 22nd 2012 0 comments add
February 23, 2012 at 6:35 am permalink

I can't get these thoughts out of my head.. they're driving me crazy. There's just so many things I want to do.. so many boundries, so many risks.. #needsomeonetotalkto..

January 19th 2012 0 comments add
January 19, 2012 at 8:15 am permalink

I guess I'm going through another hard time.. with my mom back in the hospital, I try to stay away from being home. Being at home makes me think 'this is what it'll be like when she's really not here'... It just gives me such an uncomfortable feeling of insecurity. I don't understand why i'm always so scared.. I'm so tired and exhausted from school, 2 jobs, and taking care of a kid + my mom. I use this opportunity to rest and relax since Kento is with his mom for about a week or two and while my mom is in the hospital.. but.. it's time I have for the wrong reasons.

My goal is just to save up as much money as I can. With all these bills I have to pay and all these different medical bills.. I wonder how much longer I can go on for, holding myself together trying to keep things together and still manage to support myself. Ugh.. life is so complicated. Would things have been different if...*sigh 

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