Yes, I like to listen to music. =P

I'm interested to have interests. =P

You know me, or you don't. =P

Blogging from College 0 comments add
September 11, 2011 at 1:30 am permalink

It's strange coming back to MSO to make a personal blog. For some reason, the apartment I'm currently residing at isn't letting me access the website I normally make my blogs. Anyways, it's 630pm and I seriously  feel like letting out all of these thoughts bubbling inside my head.

One thing is that I just feel terrible. Tired. Incapable. Incompetent... but I still don't want to give up.

It's damaging to myself to feel like I can't do something, but continue on anyways. I feel like I should just stop now to quit wasting time. But college.. it feels like something I have to do. 

It's so tough. So competitive. All of these intelligent people. I am one of them, but sometimes I don't feel like I belong here. I am going crazy crazy crazy. Science is so difficult.. I almost want to break down.

The weather here is depressingly cold.. and my internet is spotty. My aparment isn't so far, but I wish the location felt safer. 

I don't know what to think anymore. I've gone through ONE week of school and I'm tired as if I've been in school for months now. This time I don't need hope alone, I need ability. I seriously need ability. 

I HAVE SENIORITIS 0 comments add
April 18, 2010 at 10:38 pm permalink

I don't feel like doing shit today. It's like I used to give a care before, but now it's like. Whatever. I mean, after all that hard work, a kid deserves a break. A long break. *sigh* But if you really want to keep those grades up you needa work your ass off. That's what I don't want to do anymore. Cus` literally, I wasted all of high school working my ass of and I'm not satisfied with where I am right now. Not to sound sad but I thought I'd be better. Like rank higher, not to be cocky. Anyways, it's like the day after senior ball and I have two tests tomorrow. Physics and Econ. I need to slap myself silly to get myself to work. It's hard. I can't seem to make myself do it anymore. I had incentive before, but since I got into that school, there's no more drive. I'm in, there's nothing to prove anymore. Abruptly ends blog and continues elsewhere.

i kept telling myself i'll live in college 0 comments add
April 15, 2010 at 2:22 am permalink

I kept telling myself that it's okay that I feel like shit now because later everything will be better. Because when I go to college, no one will know me. I could be my own shit. Damn, I should've been living in the moment. The fucking moment. The time is now, don't let it slip away. I should've  been fearless and broke some hearts. I've had my heart broken by people and they didn't even know they did it.. because I was being too nice. Nice can fuck you over. Because even after being friends with someone for so long and you realize that you were just being used. Or it was fucking one sided. Why is it that when I lose my energy that we all fall apart. I don't want to admit it, but it seems like it was only me who was trying. We were like a chain. Whenever you got loose, I tried to lock you back in. But when I got loose, I just fell off. Was I that fucking worthless to you? How about the part when you called me your 'best friend.' I didn't know that you could forget your own best friend like that. That fucking hurt. Things will never be the same.

 

Sorry to say it, but I'm the guy who cares about little things. I can hold a grudge for a long time. I wish my experiences wouldn't have led me to to believing that I should trust no one. 

 

College.