It was intimidating and scary.

When I arrived there at 9 AM, I filled out a form, and then went inside a room to pin up my portfolio on their walls. Of course, I had to pick the hardest wall -_-; It took forever! I was the last one to be done. Then.. I went on a tour in their art department. (K, I decided I want to get a Mac for graduation, hehe.) Later on, I separated myself from the group because I didn't want to tour around Rutgers (since I'm not applying there), so I just stayed in another room next to the gallery to eat the breakfast they served for us earlier. I peeked through a small glass window on the door, and I saw them critiquing mine. Already?! Oh man.. I almost peed myself. I was so nervous.. I kept wondering what they could be saying. I chugged down 3 cups of coffee. Yes, chugged. And kept eating.. and eating.. I was so worried and anxious. I kept waiting with the other students.. there were 20 of us who signed up. I'm number 12. THE NUMBER 12 LOOKS LIKE YOU.

They're emailing me their critiques. It may take a week. Or more.

I hate waiting.

Ehh.. I didn't expect it to be that way. There weren't any questions asked except if I applied in Rutgers. I said no, and that I only wanted feedback from their professional artists. Honestly, I preferred to be critiqued in my presence. Feedback is good; it will help me grow as an artist. Whether it may be painful or not, it will help me progress. Kna' means?

Now, all I have to do is wait.


"Waiting by the Tree" by Dianne Tan. 2007. Acrylic on 11" x 14" canvas.