I watched two plays this month, and both were excellent! US Drag, I watched with Johnny at the Pasadena Playhouse; A Doll's House, I watched it with Jasmine at UCR. Both plays are so very centered on the idea of the female body, which just happens to be a lot of where my mind wanders in my english class. I love it.

Today's Thanksgiving, and it's a little quiet in the house, which is of course very weird because there's like 8 of us home. Apparently it's been quiet for a couple days now... it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving.

I'm feeling very materialistic. I've been obsessing over shoes and handbags the entire day. ugh. shoot me.

Again with the silence. I wish I had music to calm me. Good music. But this computer doesn't have speakerphones and I left my laptop at the apartment -___-. As well as all my clothes and underwear and everything essential to my life =(.

I'm craving happiness. I feel happy, but I also want to be able to share it with others around me. My family isn't happy, so a slice of my happiness is wasted and thrown into a pile of....poop. I love my family. We have so many problems. But I love my family. So much. My family has shown me so much, and I'm glad that I don't have a perfect family. I'm sure nobody does. Some are just worse than others. I love how we don't spend(as a family) lavishly. I love how our house is never in order(kind of). I realize that parents aren't perfect people. I realize that they seriously go through a lot of scandalous shit just like we do in high school or in college. I realize that parents who try to be perfect struggle so much to be that way in order to keep their roles flawless for us to model. I don't believe there is such thing as a single perfect person in the world. And I don't believe that my parents have to be "perfect" in order for me to be "perfect." I realize that parents are able to make horrible choices that put them to shame when it's revealed. When one sided stories are told. Gossiping. No communication. I believe that parents and family members need to communicate.

Now lets end with that Good Song!



even though it doesn't feel like Thanksgiving

send some rain, would You send some rain?
'cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
and the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
but maybe not, not today
maybe You'll provide in other ways
and if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

we'll give thanks to You
with gratitude
for lessons learned in how to thirst for You
how to bless the very sun that warms our face
if You never send us rain

daily bread, give us daily bread
bless our bodies, keep our children fed
fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
wrap us up and warm us through
tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
or maybe not, not today
maybe You'll provide in other ways
and if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

we'll give thanks to You
with gratitude
a lesson learned to hunger after You
that a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

oh, the differences that often are between
what we want and what we really need

so grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
move our hearts to hear a single beat
between alibis and enemies tonight
or maybe not, not today
peace might be another world away
and if that's the case . . .

(Chorus)

we'll give thanks to You
with gratitude
for lessons learned in how to trust in You
that we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
in abundance or in need
and if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . .